When I entered the university and was away from my family, it got worse with the availability of the internet… I became hooked on the pornographic sites… The more I watched, the more I became captivated… At times, realizing that it adversely affected my studies, I wanted to stop… However, I told myself that it’s no big deal: “I eventually will get bored”.
Thank you for sharing your concerns.
You are doing better than the average people of your age. Why? Because you are aware of your problems when the rest of them are not.
Furthermore, you are going through growing pains. It is natural that during this phase of your life, your hormones are dictating your actions.
Eventually, you’ll outgrow it.
However, it does not hurt to make sure that you are on firmer footing and ascending in the right direction.
To put it simply, the fastest way for you to get there is to learn to meditate.
Find a competent, Chan meditation teacher to guide you. Your objective is to enter samadhi as soon as possible. Once you can reach samadhi, your desires will naturally lessen and become lighter. You’ll then have more control over your hormones.
More specifically, you need to reach at least First Dhyana in order to have more self-control. May I suggest that you recite Guan Yin Bodhisattva’s name when you meditate? It will help tone down your desires. It also helps to bow to the Bodhisattva to help eradicate your offenses as well.
Finally, it is true that reciting the Buddha’s name can eradicate 80 hundred million kalpas of offenses. However, not everyone can. Only those with very high levels of samadhi can do so. Regardless, for people like us, it can still eradicate a lot of offenses proportionally to our samadhi level. You are right: there is no free lunch! It is not that easy! By the way, reciting Guan Yin’s name can also assure rebirth to the Pure Land.