The difficulties I was trying to overcome, initially, was depression. At that time I was going through a divorce. My mom has bipolar depression and my little sister is handicapped and she was trying to fight us all the time and I take care of both of them. My son is a kind and understanding person but even he was being affected by all that was going on and he was getting lower grades in school. His teachers praised his good manners they just wished he applied himself more to his studies. I was having great difficulties with getting my thoughts and emotional reactions under control. I would cry when I was alone in my car. I didn't like being short tempered and sometimes I was not sleeping (insomnia) or sleeping too much, taking too many naps and feeling fatigue. I had a knee injury and and low back pain. I was overall unhappy with my life.
​
I started Chan meditation in 2016. I was walking in the park with my son and saw someone was putting a sign, ‘Chan Meditation in the Park’. I asked how much she would charge for the class. She said “it’s free.”. That’s how everything started!

At first, when I began sitting in full lotus and meditating on Amituofo, I felt the healing in my body. My knee healed up quickly and my lower back didn't hurt as much. A few months later I was sitting for an hour, daily, and I was feeling well rested. Soon my insomnia was gone and I was getting a full night’s sleep. I also didn't need as much sleep to feel well rested. Little by little I began to notice my thoughts were more focused and I wasn't angry or depressed, I was able to think clearly. I no longer react quickly in response to other people’s actions. I'm more patient and tolerant of everyone including myself. My little sister is calmer around me and is easily made peaceful. She doesn't try to fight with me anymore. My mom's bipolar depression isn't as bad as it used to be and she's more open to taking advice from me about her own health. Even my son’s grades in school have improved. I'm more supportive of him and he started meditating too.

My spirituality comes from Native American Traditions. It's not a religion but a way of life. It's very inclusive and tolerant of other people’s faith. I relate many of the spiritual leaders from the past as Holy men and women who were born to teach us something and it is up to us to pick up those teachings and utilize them or not. I choose to utilize Chan as part of my self-care and actually helps me improve the way I take care of others.
​
Chan mediation helped me improve on so many levels but if I were to choose one thing that it helped me the most with, it would be, with my mind, and the ability to organize my thoughts. I no longer feel so scattered about my choices and decisions. I enrolled in college and got accepted into the Honors Program. I no longer worry about living up to other people’s expectations of me. I see clearly where I've wasted so much time on worrying about things that will most likely never happen. And I'm enjoying life's precious moments on a deeper level than before.

Written by Venerable XianAn

A few days ago, I got a message from Soo Seong Choi, a young Korean veterinarian who used to meditate in kneeling-down posture. He also did a lot of bowing but didn’t feel that he was making any further progress.

​He read articles about Chan during the last year and had started to sit in full lotus, but I wasn’t aware of this because he had never contacted me before. When he contacted me, he said he started to build faith in Buddhism after practicing full lotus and kept reading articles about Chan. I asked him how reading the articles helped him develop faith.

Recently he fell in a car repair shop and broke his foot. Despite having foot surgery, he started sitting in full lotus. His pain was gone when he was sitting, and he didn’t have to get pain injections. He also felt that some things started melting away from his heart.

It’s been about one week since the surgery, and his recovery has been very speedy. Because he wasn’t happy about not making progress, he has been very glad to be able to practice Chan. He read about Juan’s Chan meditation experience and felt that it was similar to his job. When he was in veterinary school, he wished to help animals, but in reality, he often has to euthanize animals. It makes his job very hard. Now he has started learning the Medicine Buddha Dharma, and he will start reciting Medicine Buddha’s name, “Na Mo Yak Sa Yeo Rai Bul,” in Korean.

​[Please consult with your own physician before trying this practice]

​Written by Venerable XianAn, Wei Mountain Temple

​I remember when I first started seeing Juan at Lu Mountain Temple about 2 years ago. Back then I was so busy, I wasn’t able to talk with him much, but I remember that he always worked around the temple even during lunchtime while everyone else was enjoying the food. One day I asked him, “Why don’t you come and join the lunch with everyone?” He said, “I don’t want to spend my blessings. I want to work and help the temple.”

​Unlike me, Juan always worked hard at the temple and then quietly went back home. He did that regularly, maybe once or twice a week. He politely refused to have lunch and continued to work.

​Today I saw him sitting in full lotus during Master YongHua’s sutra lecture. He didn’t move or make any sound for the entire 2 hours, and his face looked peaceful. I wanted to find out how cultivation has changed his life, so I invited him to have a conversation.

​Juan was born in 1981 in Guadalajara, Mexico, and his family moved to the U.S. when he was only 8 years old. He is a vocational nurse, has been married for 11 years, and has no children. He grew up in a typical Mexican family going to Catholic church. Until he turned 17 years old, he went to church every weekend with his family.

​However, he had been very self-destructive in his 20’s. He wore his hair long like a rock musician, with large tattoos on his body, and he often drank alcohol and smoked. He spent his time hanging out with friends at music concerts. Like a lot of young adults in the U.S., he did various kinds of drugs too.

FROM ARAVIND.

My name is Aravind Natarajan (male, 41yr). I work as a data scientist at #Fitbit, which is a health and wellness tech company in San Francisco. I grew up in India, and came to the U.S. to pursue my doctorate in Physics, and then as a research scientist. I later got interested in data science, machine learning, and artificial intelligence, and came to the bay area.

I got interested in Buddhism because I found Buddhist prayers to be peaceful, and I liked the message of non-violence, and compassion towards all living beings. In 2014, I volunteered as an English teacher for a short time at a Buddhist monastery in Ladakh (Ladakh is in India, but very close to Tibet), organized by the #Avalokitesvara Trust, and it was my first experience in a Buddhist environment. I later went to Japan on a research trip, and got the chance to visit Kamakura including the Hase Kannon temple and the famous Amida Daibutsu statue. Closer to home, in Ukiah, we have the large and beautiful City of Ten Thousand Buddhas with peacocks and deer. I found that I liked the chanting at CTTB and joined in when I could. I also like to attend the Saturday morning service at the Berkeley monastery.