수행자의일기: 이선미 Cultivator’s Diary: Seon-Mi Lee
11월30일달마톡을듣고 November 30, 2019. After listening to Master’s Dharma talk:
It was the last Dharma talk of the FoQi Buddha’s name recitation retreat. When Master said, “Please share your FoQi experience,” many people shared their gratitude. Someone said that it was just a lot of suffering, but there was one Korean cultivator who said that she received homework from Master back in April to sit for 3 1/2 hours. She came to FoQi so she could ask about what is next.
Wow, 3 1/2 hours.
I also want to work hard and get used to sitting for 3 1/2 hours. My vow to meet Master after being able to sit for 3 1/2 hours comfortably has become firmer. One day I want to take an airplane and go to the USA to meet Master so that I can ask what I need to do next.
12월1일 December 1
결가부좌수행1시간57분Full lotus sitting: 1 hour and 57 minutes
호흡관1시간Breathing: 1 hour
능엄신주만트라30분Shurangama Mantra: 30 minutes
아미타불염불12분Amitabha’s name recitation: 12 minutes
능엄신주독송10분Shurangama Mantra: 10 minutes
오늘은 어제의 아쉬움을 만회하고자1시간50분 알람을 맞춰놓고 시작했다. (어제3시좀전에식사를마쳤는데 이후부터 꽁깍지차만 두 컵정도 마시고 오후불식을 해보았다.)
1시간25분 즘 넘어가며 다리부터 떨리기 시작했다.
Today I wanted to do better than yesterday, so I set the alarm for 1 hour and 50 minutes. (Yesterday I finished my meal around 3:00 p.m. and drank two cups of tea only). My legs started to shake after 1 hour and 25 minutes.
My shoulders started to feel sore. I put my palms together, and my palms and shoulders started to shake a little. If I was holding the shaman’s bell, the bell would really shake and make sound. I felt a little scared.
Venerable XianAn already told me that there’s no need to feel afraid and that I should let the shaking happen. Master HsuanHua said that shaking helps shake off the stupidity. While I reminded myself what Venerable XianAn told me, I continued to concentrate on the Shurangama Mantra recitation. After 5 minutes, the shaking of my arms calmed down. Not long after, my hands and head also calmed down.
As the time passed, the pain in the right foot and hip went down, but my left foot was hurting a lot. Because I had fasted since yesterday and resolved to sit longer, I was able to bear this pain longer. Since my left foot has had many problems since childhood, when the pain started there, it was expected. The pain was increasing, but my head was more and more clear and my excessive thoughts were reduced. I felt that I could sit longer if I could bear the left foot pain. I was able to push 7 minutes longer than my original plan.
Today I thought of my parents. I prayed for them to be able to accrue more blessings for the rest of their lives because they have struggled to survive. Na Mo Amitabul Gwan Sae Um Bo Sal (This is Korean pronunciation of Na Mo Emitofou Guanyin Pu Sa)