Helping non-believer daughter

Question:

Ven. Master,
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My name is HG. My Dharma name is TA. I have a daughter who came to the US in 1991 when she was 12 years old. Now she is a pharmacist who is talented but lacks virtue. She is more preoccupied with benefitting herself than helping others. She does not believe in the Buddha nor Cause and Effect. ​

Although I love her dearly, I sometimes feel very disappointed in her. I really worry about her future lives. I often recite the Great Compassion Mantra; I practice giving and then transfer the merit and virtue to her. I also repent on her behalf, praying that she will soon believe in the Triple Jewel and apply the Buddha’s teachings to her daily life in order to accrue blessings for her future lives. Am I proceeding correctly to help her? Please kindly instruct me.

When we cultivate and transfer the merit and virtue for others, is there any difference?

Thank you very much.

Repsectfully,

TA

PS: If you wish, please call me at …
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TA

Answer:

She is talented but lacks virtue because she learned it from you. Typically, parents put so much emphasis in their children acquiring skills and tend to neglect The Way virtue.

Most of you do not realize that monetary gains and social status are the result of prior blessings, not from intelligence or skills alone. The proof is in the fact that a lot of geniuses die in poverty.

Your transferring merit and virtue to her and repenting on her behalf are good deeds. Gradually, you will also learn other more effective ways to help her. Most importantly, if you wish to change her then you first must change yourself by becoming more virtuous because only The Way virtue can change and transform modern people.
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When you come to California to practice with us, perhaps we can elaborate more on this topic.