Currently, I have a girlfriend who loves me dearly but she still can’t go against the wishes of her family. She is filial to her parents. We live in tears and pain. Her parents guard her even more after our love was revealed to them.
I am sorry for your pain and suffering.
I wish people could learn to live and let live.
It’s not just that your family and friends have a problem with your personal choice; I would not be surprised that they too are suffering a lot because they feel that they are “losing face”.
From the Buddhist perspective, it’s all due to cause and effect. You and your loved used to create afflictions for each other and now continue to do so this lifetime.
Therefore, you should learn to take advantage of the various wonderful Buddhist Dharmas to repent of your past karmic offenses. Continue to recite the Buddha’s name, bow repentance, go to the temple to ask for help to repent. This will alleviate suffering.
Furthermore, the cause for your unusual choice for partners can be traced back to having excessive sexual desires in prior lives. I personally have nothing against your individual preferences but feel obligated to point out to you that indulging in it will plant causes for further suffering this lifetime as well as future lifetimes.
Ordinary people are so short sighted. They can only see this lifetime. They fail to see the connection of their actions and behavior to their past lives and how the influence they could have on future lives.
If you are sincere about seeking ways to end the vicious cycle, then you should seek out a good knowing adviser who can help provide guidance to get you out of pain and suffering.