In order to help her secure that job, I have to say good stuffs which is the same as lying. She doesn’t have enough experience to handle many situations which she thought she knows. My supervisor and I now have to clean up her mess.
The questions get harder every year!
You should be truthful. You could say that you liked her as a person (think about the things that you like about her). It is your professional responsibility to be truthful about her qualifications but you do not necessarily have to provide all the details. For example, as an employer who calls upon you to ask about someone’s qualifications, I won’t blame you for if you did inform me that she’s inexperienced and would need some training.
As a rule of thumb, do not lie until you have real wisdom (it’ll take a while yet).
To be truthful is to be nice in the long run to all concerned. You can’t be nice to your friend but be not nice to yourself and colleagues.
I would come up with a real lame excuse for backing out of the dinner invitation to make sure that she gets it: that you are not fooled by the phoniness. You do not need to be phony by accepting phony invitations.
Besides, something about her tells me that she’s not that good of a cook. Therefore, you’re not missing much.