Stubborn Son

Question:

Dear Master,

Thanks for answering my previous questions. After reading your response, I have more questions to ask:
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1. What did the mother of the 5 year old child do to give blessings to him? How did she help him reach 2nd Dhyana?

2. I also have a 5 year old son who is my only child. Before giving birth, I tried to cultivate to generate blessings to help him in his life. My daily cultivation practice included: reciting the Great Compassion Mantra 5-7 times and listening to the sutra lectures. I also bowed to the Buddha and meditated. However, due to time constraints, I sometimes had to limit my activities to my preferred methods of cultivation (reciting the mantra and listening to the sutra lectures). My son is quite clever with a loving compassion toward people, but he has a big temper and can be very stubborn. Besides teaching him to become a better person, what dharma doors should I cultivate to help him lessen his temper and stubbornness?

Thanks for your help.
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TNQ

​Answer:

1. The mother in the example I shared with you has a great affinity with the Medicine Master Buddha dharma. The following is the summary of her amazing experiences that I want to share with you:

I first started teaching Chan and the Buddha name recitation from the living room of the house where I stayed. We met every Saturday to prevent competition with the Sunday activities of other temples. There were about 10 people joining the assembly each week. Together, we recited the Buddha’s name starting at 8:00 AM, had lunch, and then I lectured on the Medicine Master Sutra in the afternoon until 3:00 PM. Everything was done without any charge.

The mother often visited larger, more established temples. But upon hearing about the Medicine Master Sutra lectures at our place, she was willing to take the 2 hour drive to join our small assembly.

After a month, she asked me about her son’s allergy problem which was so severe that he went to Emergency about once a week. She asked if the Medicine Master Buddha dharma could help him. I said yes because I learned this dharma from a Chinese master and practiced this dharma instead of following the Vietnamese custom of praying for peace. She said that she must discuss the fee with her family. She then disappeared for a month. She probably thought that we were shysters and that we were trying to trick her for money.
However, she came back the following month to ask whether the Medicine Master Buddha dharma can help heal her aunt who was very ill. I again said yes. She immediately opened her check book to request the Medicine Master Buddha plaque for her aunt.

I admired her filial piety and told her that although she and her husband became a little poorer today in exchange for improving her aunt’s health, they will definitely be wealthier, mentally and spiritually.

A few weeks after her aunt recovered, she requested a Medicine Master Buddha plaque for the entire family.

A month later, she reported to me that her son didn’t have to go to the emergency room that often anymore.

A year later, her husband and family (including her great aunt and her mother) came to cultivate with us. These family members previously opposed her decision to join our group. The entire family took the Three Refuges with the Triple Jewels and 5 Precept Ceremony at our temple.

There are many more interesting responses but please allow me to stop here.

2. Due to your effort of reciting the Great Compassion Mantra and your cultivation, your son has the blessings of being clever and he possesses a loving compassion. Talented people tend to have a big temper and many times are stubborn.

Please allow me to make the following suggestions:

• In order to help him, you must continue to cultivate vigorously.
• Children like to imitate. They are like a sponge that can absorb everything. If you want him to be good, you must be good first. You must show by your actions that you live virtuously instead of just talking about it.
• You must be careful with your actions because you can influence him for years to come. If you don’t teach him now, nobody will be able to teach him in the future.

Using my 5 year old disciple as an example, after one year of cultivating with us, I was able influence his parents to get rid of their arrogant behavior. As a result, the boy naturally became more respectful and started to follow instructions.

As you would expect, children become good when we put them in a good environment.

There are two valuable points for you to remember:
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1. Children will only listen to those who have a Samadhi power greater than their own. To teach others, you must first increase your own Samadhi ability. If not, you must send them to a teacher who has this capacity.
2. You should not give children money. Giving blessings is a better option. Money can lure them into trouble while blessings can help them become better people.